Crazy Beautiful
by smile1
Summary: Literati -One Parter- On a quiet evening, Rory finds Jess on her doorstep. Still caught up in old feelings, she refuses to let him leave, even though someone's waiting for him. An argument leads to a midnight rendezvous only to have guilt ruin it all.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own the series Gilmore Girls or the original characters. All I own is my imagination and the plot.

**A/N:** Well, it certainly has been a while since I showed my face on this site, figuratively of course and only writing wise since I do still have the time to skim through the many stories here. Too bad my favorite stories list has reached its limit 'cause I have come across some worthy stories. Reading all of those stories, whatever pairing they may be because I enjoy most of them, gave me the inspiration to just make some time to write. I mean, it's something that I love to do and although it it's impossible to make it my main priority right now, I should still take some time to write every now and then, free my mind, unleash my imagination and all that. :)

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Crazy Beautiful

You keep running in and out of my mind, a blur of colors every time.

Shadows had already drawn themselves across the sky by the time Rory Gilmore emerged from her car, taken back when after the echo of her engine had faded, there were no sounds to replace it. She closed the door with less of the confidence she usually carried, aware of how silence had the ability of blowing something out of proportion. For the time of night, Yale came over as eerily quiet which was quite uncustomary considering that it was a Friday where usually parties were a give in and cars crowded the Yale parking lot.

Above her, the shadows darkened, coloring the sky an even darker shade of ebony. No longer feeling comfortable, she began to make her way across the empty campus with grace, making sure to keep her head up, even though there was no one to eye her this time.

She pushed open the door to her dorm with one hand while feeling for her keys with the other. They jingled as she pulled them from her back pocket. Even such an every day action seemed out of place in the uncharacteristic silence she found herself in.

Specks of dark shades streaked her vision and she tilted her head, causing for her to stop dead in her tracks. In front of her door sat a person she knew all too well, clad in a jacket he had worn ever since the first day she had come across him. She couldn't picture him without it; it was a part of him, something that gave outsiders a glimpse of his tortured soul. It made people curious, though it also kept people upon a distance, the way he preferred it. She tightened her hold on her keys when noticing how his hair had grown even longer since the last time she had seen him. He was stubborn and clever; he knew that the long hair combined with his dark clothes would alarm people even more. She didn't care how long his hair was or how he dressed; she cared about the whole package and the way he looked now.

His eyes were closed and remained closed as she carefully approached him, expecting nothing when she was ready for everything. It was the way he worked. When she hovered over him and he continued to be unaware, she dropped to her knees, worried about the unconscious state he seemed to be in. She took her time taking in his rumpled appearance, smiling as feelings took a hold of her. Unable to stop herself, she reached for his face, leaning in just a little, though it was enough. As her fingers grazed the edges of his hair, his eyes opened, locking with hers on the dot. She pulled her hand back quickly, able to hold back a gasp, though her eyes gave her away; they always did.

''Hey,'' she offered, combining it with a faint smile. She was trying - trying desperately to keep their past in the past, knowing where they would end up if she at least didn't try to keep the peace. She would start to ask questions, too many questions and he would lose his patience, no matter how hard he tried to control it. His temper would soon follow and he would confront her with things she wanted to forget and tell her things she didn't want to hear. Sometimes, he scared her so badly that she would start to cry; she wasn't as tough as him.

''Rory,'' he murmured, his eyes leaving her the second hers widened with realization. ''You're drunk,'' she whispered, the breath that had escaped him smelling of alcohol, though she lacked the experience to pinpoint a brand of any kind.

His gaze darkened at the judgmental tone that had managed to creep into her voice, even though he knew that she had tried to shade it; she always did when he did something wrong. It was how he could tell that they were on the edge of something. ''I had a few drinks,'' he corrected her, not caring whether she was right or he was wrong.

''Did you drive here?'' she continued, her eyes pleading with him not to wrap the truth up in a white lie this time.

He didn't look at her as he gently pushed her back, away from him, giving him enough room to get up when he was ready.

''Jess,'' she urged.

His eyes crossed hers briefly before he snatched the keys from between her fingers and got himself up from the floor. She watched with disbelief as he unlocked the door and entered her dorm room, leaving the door ajar for her. With a sigh, she got up and followed him into the apartment, purposely slamming the door closed behind her.

He took no notice of it.

She crossed her arms and looked at him, no longer trying to keep a hold of her patience. ''Did you drive here or not?'' she asked again, as calmly as she would allow herself to.

He shrugged while turning around, though he still didn't face her. ''What if I did?''

''I never thought you were that stupid,'' she spat bitterly.

He paid no attention to the concern in her eyes. ''You were always good at judging me.''

''I'm just worried.''

''I'm not your responsibility,'' he pointed out while casually slipping his hands into his pockets.

''I know you're not.'' She uncrossed her arms and let them fall awkwardly to her sides. ''I just care,'' she confessed. ''You could have gotten into an accident.''

''I didn't.''

''But you could. God, Jess, you are so reckless. You never think about other people.''

''I think you've got it wrong.'' His back straightened, knowing that they both were heading towards dangerous grounds. ''You're the selfish one here.''

''I'm looking out for you, how can that be selfish!'' She moved closer to him without noticing, though he did.

''It's selfish because if I get into an accident, you won't have anyone to blame all of your flaws upon.'' He paused, catching the fire in her eyes. ''You'll no longer be perfect.''

A sharp gasp escaped from her lips, bruised by his words. Without thinking, she brought her hand up and struck him. The same hand flew over to her mouth a second later. Shock was written on her face while guilt already stood in her eyes. ''Jess,'' she tried.

''Guess that proves my point, huh?'' He countered her stare with an icy one of his own, keeping his hands tucked in his pockets for his own good.

''You're drunk, you don't know what you're saying.''

''And I don't know what I'm doing either,'' he replied, moving passed her and in the direction of the door in a rapid pace.

''Where are you going?'' she asked without turning to look at him.

''I'm leaving.''

''You can't.'' She turned around, her feet moving soon after. ''I won't let you.''

He stopped, removing his hands from his pockets to run them through his hair before turning around, surprised at how close she ended up being. Her breath hitched, though she recovered quickly by taken a couple of steps back. ''I won't let you storm out of here drunk and angry only to get in a car again.''

''I'm not drunk. Besides, I have to get home. I have someone waiting for me.''

A silence was suddenly draped between them.

''Who?'' she finally asked, hiding her curiosity behind a layer of carelessness.

''My girlfriend.''

Her gaze dropped. ''Oh.''

''Her name's Sam,'' he added.

She looked back up at him, her eyes clouded as she waited for him to continue.

''She has these amazing brown eyes, probably the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.''

More distance was placed between them as she backed up even more; it no longer felt right being so close to him. She averted her eyes. ''I don't think she would want you to drive either.'' Without awaiting his reply, she reached for the phone and handed it to him. ''Call her, call Sam, ask her to pick you up. You can come and get your car the first thing in the morning.''

He took the phone only to place it on a nearby dresser. ''She doesn't drive. Sam lost both of her parents in a car crash,'' he explained.

''I'm sorry,'' was all she could come up with.

''That won't bring them back.''

Anger flared up within her at his careless comment. He was trying to hurt her and he was succeeding. She had always been vulnerable when it came to him and he knew it; he always had been able to take advantage of it when he was looking for an easy way out. Wrapping her arms protectively around herself, she met his eyes once more. The darkness suited him too well. Still, there was something she couldn't resist and it was both a curse and blessing at the same time. ''You can stay here for the night,'' she said. ''The couch is comfortable enough. Sheets and extra pillows are in the dresser and food is in the fridge. There's no alcohol, though.''

Suddenly, his shield cracked and he lost his edge as he seemed to realize who he was talking to, who he was hurting. He took a step towards her, wanting to reach for her, though she had already stepped back into her room. ''I hope you sleep well,'' she said before closing the door on him.

x-x-x-

Somewhere in the darker hours of the night, Rory's eyes sailed open; she wasn't alone. Her heartbeat sped up at the realization. She lay as still as she could, holding her breath as she listened for another heartbeat, one that wasn't her own. For a second, she thought that she could faintly make one out; she felt it beating quietly against her back, though she knew that she must be hearing things. Still, she turned around, ending up on her back. Her breath caught in her throat, surprised at finding Jess beside her. ''Jess,'' she breathed, nervous; he was so close. ''What are you doing here?''

His answer consisted of a soft smile and an even softer touch as he gingerly ran one of his hands through her hair. It was the touch that kept her quiet for a little while longer; it was one of those touches that was hard to shake off and would have her lying awake for nights to come. He untangled his fingers from her locks and slid it down to her waist slowly, taking his time as he took advantage of the position she was in. He situated himself on top of her with care, his other hand disappearing underneath the covers as he intently kept an eye on her. At his touch, she inhaled, giving him the opportunity to skillfully maneuver his hands into her sweats and down to her hips.

He was losing control, she saw it. ''Jess,'' she warned, gasping for even more air when his fingers slipped even further and his eyes started to wander. ''Jess, please... You're scaring me.''

At her plea, his eyes found hers with haste. He removed his hands as fast as he could, guilty because his fingerprints had already scarred her skin. Not knowing what else to do, he just looked at her, his expression dazed as he searched for something to say.

Her heart ached as she watched him struggle. He didn't look as tough as she remembered. ''It's okay,'' she said, her voice soothing as she lost both of her hands in his hair.

He didn't hear her, not really. He was too busy taking in the way she looked, creating an image that would stay with him for as long as he would allow himself to carry it. His eyes lowered themselves from her face to her heart. This wasn't how he had pictured it to be and knowing that he had none other than himself to blame hurt. He should have worked his way into her heart first.

Without any indication, he clasped both of her wrists and pushed her arms away from him. He got off her in one swift movement, ending up on the edge of the bed so he could put on his shoes which he had so carelessly taken off earlier. He picked his jacket up from the floor and got up, not planning on looking back; he was good at leaving everything behind without so much as a second glance.

Without a jacket he almost looked like a stranger to her, though the thought faded as quickly as he shrugged on his jacket.

''Jess.''

He stopped; he had to. He cast her a sideways glance.

''Why did you come here?''

''I missed you,'' he answered honestly, looking away before their eyes could meet. He missed the familiarity of having her around.

He turned, knowing that he had to keep moving. This time, she didn't stop him and she was crazy for not doing so, just as crazy as he was for walking out on her once again, no matter if they both had their reasons or not.

She looked as beautiful as ever as she watched him leave, thinking that he looked beautiful covered in darkness; it suited him.

As he closed the door behind him, he knew that he had lied to her earlier; Sam didn't have the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.

She had.

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**REVIEW! Please:)** I think I've pretty much said everything that I felt I needed to say in my first A/N. The only thing that is left for me to do, is ask you for a review. Let me know what was on your mind while reading and if my writing's slowly improving. I am all ears. :) Did I mention how much I enjoy to write or did you miss that the first time :)Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read this and I'm off to read and review some stories myself. :) 


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